Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Application to be my Boyfriend
My Boyfriend Application and Test
First, a little about me. I'm a 20-year-old good looking blonde attending University. I'm tired of wasting my time, so I have formulated some mandatory criteria in part A and part B is based on points.
Part A
1) You must be born male. Sorry, no trannies, I�ll need to see a birth certificate.
2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception.
3) You must not own or ever wear birkenstocks, crocs footwear or randy river jeans.
4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.
5) I can�t accept a regular drug user. Despite BC culture, I am including weed.
6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.
7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.
8) You have to have lived in Victoria for at least two consecutive years.
9) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months.
10) English must be your first language. Sorry, I'm not a part-time ESL teacher.
If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.
Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet
Part B
1) You have (or are working on) a post secondary degree.
2) You own a car and have a valid driver's license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.
3) You�ve never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.
4) You follow at least one professional sport.
5) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.
6) You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah�s Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.
7) You have been to at least three countries outside of North America.
8) You don�t need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.
9) You know how to cook a meal for two.
10) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like cuisine or bungee jumping.
11) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (we don�t have to tell your friends).
12) You have a great sense of humour. Are people laughing with you, or at you?
13) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. "I don't know, what do you want to do" isn't an answer.
14) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.
15) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.
16) You ride a motorcycle. I love to go riding.
17) You have a 5 year goal.
18) You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.
19) You're competitive, and I don't mean you like to battle it out with your WoW buddies on the weekends.
20) You know how to dance.
If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don't have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.
You MUST respond with your age (this is a creeper free zone, 20-26 year olds only please) and your picture.
I thank you in advance for your application, however, only successful candidates will receive a response.
First, a little about me. I'm a 20-year-old good looking blonde attending University. I'm tired of wasting my time, so I have formulated some mandatory criteria in part A and part B is based on points.
Part A
1) You must be born male. Sorry, no trannies, I�ll need to see a birth certificate.
2) You must own something to wear to a formal reception.
3) You must not own or ever wear birkenstocks, crocs footwear or randy river jeans.
4) All your parts need to be in good working order, further testing will need to be conducted of course.
5) I can�t accept a regular drug user. Despite BC culture, I am including weed.
6) You must own at least four collared dress shirts. You need to look presentable standing next to me.
7) Your height must be proportional to your weight using the standard AMA guidelines.
8) You have to have lived in Victoria for at least two consecutive years.
9) You must have a photo which was taken in the last 3 months.
10) English must be your first language. Sorry, I'm not a part-time ESL teacher.
If you meet all of the requirements above then you may continue, if not, then you are now dismissed but thank you for applying to be my boyfriend.
Now: give yourself two points for each of the following criteria you meet
Part B
1) You have (or are working on) a post secondary degree.
2) You own a car and have a valid driver's license. Suspended for DUIs: minus 10 points.
3) You�ve never worn Ed Hardy, Affliction or any other Christian Audigier affiliated brand.
4) You follow at least one professional sport.
5) You have skills in bed. Not because you think you do, because your past experiences have told you.
6) You are not a born again Christian, Jehovah�s Witness or any other kind of religious fanatic.
7) You have been to at least three countries outside of North America.
8) You don�t need to call a handy man if something breaks around the house.
9) You know how to cook a meal for two.
10) You like stepping out of your bubble and trying new things like cuisine or bungee jumping.
11) You can make it through a romantic comedy without complaining (we don�t have to tell your friends).
12) You have a great sense of humour. Are people laughing with you, or at you?
13) You can plan a good date without any help or advice from me. "I don't know, what do you want to do" isn't an answer.
14) You work out and enjoy being physically active. I hit the gym regularly, you should too.
15) You have a job that requires more than a high school diploma.
16) You ride a motorcycle. I love to go riding.
17) You have a 5 year goal.
18) You aren't afraid of being yourself, even if you have a dorky side.
19) You're competitive, and I don't mean you like to battle it out with your WoW buddies on the weekends.
20) You know how to dance.
If you have a score of 30+ then please contact me immediately. If you scored between 20-30 pts, you can contact me, but I don't have a lot of hope for our future relationship. If you did not score high enough, then please do not contact me, but if at some time in the future you are able to improve yourself and meet the minimum requirements, then you may re-apply.
You MUST respond with your age (this is a creeper free zone, 20-26 year olds only please) and your picture.
I thank you in advance for your application, however, only successful candidates will receive a response.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
常大魚大肉 痛風讓人瘋
「營養師，怎麼辦？我的檢驗報告中，尿酸很高，醫師說：『你吃得太好了！』所以我來找你們想想辦法！」
許多人認為，血液中的尿酸過高或是發生痛風，都是因為大吃大喝所致，所以必須嚴格控制飲食。
減重控制每月一至二公斤
的確，時常大魚大肉又大口飲酒的人，很容易發生血中尿酸濃度上升，誘發或加重痛風的發作！但是「嚴格地控制飲食」並非治療良方，反而可能因為錯誤的飲食而造成營養不良，並導致體重快速下降，使身體內源性的普林大量釋出，讓痛風病情更加嚴重。若是需要減重，減重速度最好控制在每個月減少一至兩公斤以內。
在飲食上，因為酒精會嚴重影響尿酸的排出，所以一定要先去除「酒精」，包括各種濃度的酒類飲品，以及加酒烹調的菜餚。
有人誤以為加了酒的燒酒雞或羊肉爐，只要點個火，或是燉煮得久些，就能除掉酒精。事實上，加入酒的料理經過長時間燉煮，還能殘留5％的酒精，短時間烹調的菜可以殘留10％到50％不等的酒精，而點火燒的料理，可以殘留高達75％的酒精！
其次，因為高量的油脂會妨礙尿酸的排除，所以，需要減少食物中的油脂分量，包含來自食物或是烹調的油脂。所以肥肉、動物的皮，以及油煎、油炸物，和油脂含量高的肉類加工食品、中西式點心，例如各式的火鍋餃、丸、月餅、糕點等，都要限制食用。
因為食物中的普林會溶解到湯裡，所以一定要避免食用燉煮的湯品，尤其是材料眾多，經過長時間熬煮的湯品、火鍋湯或雞精，不論葷、素，都不能喝，但是其中的蔬菜或新鮮肉品倒是可以適量食用。
養成良好飲食習慣
在選擇食物時，要避免活力（代謝能力）高的食物和部位，例如整顆的種子、植物的發芽部位和動物內臟，都是普林含量高的食物，應該避免食用。
對於「豆」類，請記得：通常「豆」字寫在尾字的食物，都請勿食用，例如黃豆、紅豆、綠豆、菜豆、敏豆等；若是「豆」字寫在首字的黃豆製品，因為經過研磨過濾的程序，大部分的普林已隨豆渣拋棄，可以當作肉類食物適量食用，例如豆漿、豆腐、豆乾、豆包等。
在沒有肝、腎臟功能異常的狀況下，肉、魚、豆、蛋、奶類食物的攝取量，應限制在每日每10公斤體重一份左右（如表），例如體重60公斤者，每日可以吃6份此類食物，同時要選用低脂的部位，避免吃皮和肥油，同時不可油炸。
此外，每天至少要飲用2000西西的水，讓尿酸可以正常地排出，若是常流汗或在空調房上班者，則需要更多的水分。
其實，痛風是可以被控制的，就像用信用卡的刷卡來管控消費，養成良好的消費（飲食）習慣，不透支信用（代謝）額度，即便透支，以適度地節約消費（控制飲食）為手段，也能夠快速地還清負債。
（作者為馬偕紀念醫院台北院區營養師）
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